Turn Down For What?

I have promised myself to give it a little break, talking about all the challenges I have faced the past couple years in Holland. There have also been many positive things to happen since I made the decision to expatriate that I could talk about. But, I just can’t help it. Not this week. Because this is something very near and dear to my heart– brunch.

If you know me, you know I loooove a good brunch. I might have even had a sweatshirt that said, “Turn Down For Brunch.” I definitely did. I kid you not. It’s not my fault though, I was raised this way. I have many memories of my family shutting down brunch spots. We got there when it opened and stayed until they asked us to leave. It’s obviously genetic, this love for a good brunch.

By eliminating the need to get up early on Sunday, brunch would make life brighter for Saturday-night carousers. It would promote human happiness in other ways as well. “Brunch is cheerful, sociable and inciting.” [Guy] Beringer wrote. “It is talk-compelling. It puts you in a good temper, it makes you satisfied with yourself and your fellow beings, it sweeps away the worries and cobwebs of the week.”

— William Grimes, “At Brunch, The More Bizarre The Better” New York Times, 1998

This brings me to the negative bit, the first strike against the Netherlands. I read other blogs that talk about being an expat here but I believe I am the first to address this topic. The first time I was celebrating my birthday here I was obviously so excited to plan a brunch with my new, fellow expat friends. But I couldn’t find any brunch spots. I asked friends that had been here longer. Nope. Local restaurants. Nothing. I even took to an expat message board for help. Nada. The definition of brunch is a combination of breakfast and lunch, and regularly has some form of alcoholic drink (most usually champagne or a cocktail) served with it. Wikipedia says so, so I know it’s true. And for the record, breakfast at a restaurant that also has a wine menu is NOT brunch, people. There is a place here like that and they have the nerve to call themselves an all-day brunch spot. No.

I whole-heartedly agree with Guy Beringer’s 1895 invention of brunch. Can one trust people who do not promote cheerful, sociable and inciting meals? I think not. Fortunately I was eventually able to find something akin to brunch for my birthday. It’s actually more like Vegas… But on a Sunday. From 12-5 pm. Black-out curtains, live dj + music, dancers dancing on the bar top, Champagne bottle service (everything from cavabottles that come with sparklers to Dom Perignon with full costuming, of course). In a pinch it suffices. But it’s not the leisurely Sunday meal with bubbles and buddies. This may seem like a minor issue to some but, honestly, I struggle to trust a society that doesn’t properly promote human happiness, aka brunch.

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