I did not publish a blog post last week because of the attacks on women’s rights in the United States. My blog is essentially about vulnerability and I struggled to focus, reign in, “control” my emotions, because there were a lot of them swirling around in my head and my heart. And I just didn’t want to be publicly vulnerable, about anything. In a sense I felt like I was letting myself down as I’m just getting started on this blog thing. But I am old enough now to know that if I don’t want to, I don’t have to.
In the end I emotionally fell at angry. Angry that women have to keep reliving their pain publicly just to have what respected global organizations, like the United Nations and World Health Organization call human rights. (Let me be clear, this is not just about abortion for me. This is about the autonomy of our bodies and the rights of women to determine their own family planning. I know women who have struggled in a variety of ways on this subject.) So I did not share last week. And to be honest, have struggled to finish any post this week. I have several unfinished drafts sharing my expat story but am struggling to find value in any of them at this particular moment. I may be an expat but the US is my roots, my culture, my people. I am still a voting US citizen. It will always be home. And what is happening there terrifies me.
A friend of mine had a great idea about sharing the cultural differences on the subject, and at some point I will write a more eloquent piece explaining how domestic and world politics affect ones decisions and life as an expat, but for now I am unable to put it into words. For my American readers there is no need to explain the feeling. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum there is just… denseness in the air.
The purpose of this blog was really to show that no matter where you live, there you are. The things that affect you don’t change because you’ve changed location. But it is also to inspire a community where it is okay to share our stories, if we want to. And just by reading your comments and seeing what you are all doing, I believe I am already successful.